With A Little Help From My Friends
It has been almost a year since I received the phone call from my father. For more than fifteen months he had been trying to get medically approved for gastric bypass surgery, and he was calling to tell me that the date of the procedure had finally been set: March 24th. I put it on my calendar and told him I would be there. A couple of months later, I sat in an ICU and watched his body battle death. I bought a dress to wear to his funeral. That dress is still in my closet, tags still attached.
It has now been almost 11 months since his first surgery, and he can finally walk again. He can eat and drink again. He’s almost a normal person. We went to a restaurant for dinner on Sunday, and after we gave the waiter our drink orders my father turned to me and said: “Jennifer, I’m just so happy to be alive.”
I’m proud of him. I’m proud of myself. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I’m glad I did it. But this year took its toll on me. I have nothing left. I poured everything I had into saving others, and I didn’t reserve anything to use to save myself. And now I know I have to leave this situation, but I don’t know how to do it.
The only thing I know to do is to go back to New York. New York City is my home. And all of my stuff is still sitting in a storage unit in Brooklyn. Last month I went up and met with the CEO of the company I was working for when my father first got sick. I thanked him for being so understanding when I had to leave, and I asked him if I could have my job back. A few weeks later I received an email from him. His answer: a very kind no.
So I have no home, no job, no money. I am coming off of the most stressful and traumatic year of my life, and all I want to do is completely give up. But it occurred to me that there are a lot of people in my life who probably don’t want me to completely give up, and it seems only fair to alert those people to my situation. I need help, but I have gotten really tired of asking for help. It feels like I’ve been asking for help for a long time. So if you don’t want to help, I understand. But if you do want to help, now would be the time to do so.
I need the following three things:
1) a place to live
2) a job
3) money
1) A Place To Live.
Some sort of long-term temporary situation would be best. Perhaps a 3-6 month sublet. If anyone you know needs someone to live in their apartment and take care of their cat/dog/iguana/panda bear while they leave the country for 3-6 months, I would be the perfect person for that job. My preference would be a decent neighborhood in Brooklyn or Queens (not the Bronx). Of course someplace in Manhattan would be nice, but I suppose that would only work if the person is willing to offer me very cheap rent in return for taking care of their cat/dog/iguana/panda bear. While I appreciate offers to “coach surf” and stay in people’s living rooms, I can only stomach situations like that for about 2-3 days. I need my own space, even if it’s only something the size of a large closet.
2) A Job.
There are oh so many things I can do. I am a highly-skilled office monkey, experienced in many areas of random office work. I have worked in many different office environments, but most of my experience is in publishing and law. I ran a small law office in SoHo for 4 ½ years, and during that time I gained experience in many areas of the law, including litigation and non-profit. I can write well, speak well, and am incredibly resourceful and reliable. I am open to all of kinds of jobs, not just office monkey positions. I need a source of income as soon as possible.
3) Money.
If you lend me money, it may be a while before I can pay you back. Actually, it may be quite a while. And I know that a lot of really kind people sent me money last April when all of this first started, and those kind people made a huge difference in my life. And I feel badly that in all of the craziness of last spring some of those kind people never received thank you notes from me. I really hate asking for money. But at the moment I have none, and if I’m going to move back to New York then I’m going to need some.
It’s kind of unreal to me that after everything I’ve been through this year I suddenly have to start all over from scratch again. It seems like some sort of cruel joke. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I know it’s time to leave. I had no exit strategy when I came down here. Just like when Forrest Gump got word on the radio that his momma was sick, as soon as I got word that my daddy was sick I jumped off the boat and started swimming. I’ve learned this year that when someone I love needs me I just start swimming like hell in their direction and don’t stop to think about how I’m going to get back. And now I’m treading water somewhere in the middle of the ocean and I don’t even have the energy left to care if I drown. So consider this blog a shot from my flare gun. If you can’t help me or don’t want to help me, I completely understand. But if you can help me and do want to help me, now would be the time.
You can leave a comment on the blog or contact me by email: jblevins00@hotmail.com
Tags: gastric bypass surgery, New York City
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February 21, 2011 at 9:51 pm
checking in with my NYC connections to see what can be done! sending my love!